Quora Question #6 — Relationship Advice Edition

Another interesting topic. You can get questions asking you if you think it’s okay for cheating, to serious advice on how to get out of an abusive relationship.

Here are a couple of my recent answers in that category:

What does it mean when you thought you were seeing a girl, but she suddenly gets a boyfriend?

I’ll repeat what others have said and say: you didn’t have a good communication method with the girl.

Not all people assume if you see/date/have sex with someone more than once that that means you are in a relationship. A lot of people in this day an age assume that unless something is said differently then the relationship is open.

That is why communication is a key factor to relationships. If you believe one thing, that doesn’t mean the other side of the relationship does. If you wanted to be exclusive you should have mentioned and then you would have known at that point whether or not that person wanted that with you.

The fact that she went exclusive with another person would either indicate:

  1. She didn’t realize you were that serious about what was going on between the two of you
  2. She wasn’t serious about what was going on between the two of you and so pursued different avenues while having fun with you

 

My friend is in love with a guy, so she proposed to him, and he said, “I don’t know.” We cannot understand his intention. What is his intention?

Is it really your place to understand his intention?

I can understand your friend’s confusion and probably hurt feelings, but not yours.

There are a couple of reasons why he could be hesitating on answering (though his real answer is his own):

  • He is old school — the idea of a girl proposing may be against what he feels is “normal”, the traditions he was raised on may say it’s his place to propose not hers, he may just be uncomfortable on how it made him feel.
  • He is not ready for that commitment — though he may be as in love with her as she is, he may not be ready to take that big of a step.
  • He is not actually that into her — some people start off blinded by what I call the “honeymoon stage”, a period of time — usually the first two years or so — where you are still truly getting to know each other and everything it means to be a couple. After that first few years it may be that he doesn’t feel as strongly as he did before.
  • He may just honestly want time to think about it — not everyone jumps the gun. A marriage is a big step in a relationship, especially in regards to the legalities behind it and what comes from being tied to a person.
  • He may be confused why this is happening — have they discussed the possibility of marriage? If not, he may not know where this step is coming from.
  • He may not believe in marriage — not everyone thinks its the “next step” any more.


As I said, I can’t tell you what his reason is because in the end is his own. I gave you a handful of scenarios that are “could be” options. There might even be a combination of options.

I think your friend needs to sit down and talk with her boyfriend to determine what they want to proceed with. It shouldn’t hang in the air, it should be addressed, just not pestered about.

Also this needs to be between them. Not others unless both parties welcome people to the conversation.

 

I think of all places this is probably the category that I find a lot of the trollers of the internet. It is such an easy subject to ask troll-type question.

Anyways, see y’all next time!

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A Whisper In The Ear

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