Quora Question #5 — Atheism Edition

Okay, I’m atheist. I believe I’ve talked about that before, if not, surprise (or not)! And when I said Quora has a section for everything, they really do. One of the topics I follow (did I mention you can do that?) is atheism just because there are some very uniquely interesting questions that come up that kind of make me scratch my head.

Here are some of the ones I’ve answered lately:

What are some names that atheists and feminists can give their children?

Whatever we want? Just like theists and non-feminists.

Everyone has their own reasons for naming their children what they pick, some may decide religious and/or feminist values are worth making that judgement on.

In my case, my daughter’s name is based on a chapter in the book Wind in the Willows. Why? Because my husband loved to read that book to his three other daughters and the name ended up being perfect.

I’m also a writer, so even my fictional “kids” get named different names for different reasons. Being an atheist, I don’t necessarily shy away from religion based names because of that. I also don’t exclude religion from my writing. It all depends on what works.

Can and do atheists get married in churches?

I am an atheist and never thought of not getting married in a church, but then again, I never thought of getting married in a church either.

Granted, I think churches can be beautiful buildings and if there had been one that drew enough of my attention I may have tried, but alas that was not the case.

When my husband and I got married, we decided to do so outside. Colorado is such a beautiful state and the location we found showed that off beautifully. A church never crossed our mind as a place to bring our family and friends together to celebrate in. Why would it when, other than passing by and admiring those buildings, they never cross my mind on a day to day basis.

I will stop and say here, though, that I’ve seen the cute little church my mother married in and I may have tried to get married in that church just because of it’s beauty, but since we were no where near it and didn’t plan to travel terribly far, it wasn’t an option.

But we did get married by the same priest that my parents got married by. He just happened to be my uncle and god father, and no longer a priest. Plus, he honored us by letting me write the ceremony and not balk at the fact that there was no religious basis to it at all.


How do atheists get married?

Like any wedding, I believe they can be very personal, or very simple.

I can tell you how I married my husband. We’re both atheists.

Funny enough we married ourselves because in Colorado you don’t need anyone other then yourselves to sign the certificate (other then the government official that issues the license) then yourselves. You don’t even need witnesses. You just have to swear you aren’t related. It was kind of strange. We ended up doing all of this, technically, before our actual wedding.

Our wedding was something I put together myself.

We had my uncle perform the ceremony, mostly because he officiated my parents’ wedding and we thought it was unique to have him do ours. At the time of my parents’ wedding, he was a Catholic priest and they had a Catholic ceremony. Since then he’s denounced his vows but still was pretty religious, but when I asked him he didn’t balk at doing a non-religious ceremony (his only concern was whether he legally could or not — which we found out he could).

I put a bunch of quotes and readings that I felt fit both my husband and I well. We exchanged rings, we read vows, and we added the slightly unusual hand fasting to our ceremony. The hand fasting was a way to bring in our family members and have them “bound” to us in that way as well. It was sweet and everyone involved enjoyed it (or didn’t tell me otherwise when we asked them). We also did a small sand ceremony (where you take different color sands and mix them to indicate the mixing of your lives) which usually is used between just a couple but we added my three step-daughters to the ceremony here because we wanted them to feel special and have something to show the five of us becoming one big family.

After the ceremony, we joined our friends and family and had amazing food and enjoyed each other’s company.


If you were to go look up my husband’s questions at any point, you’d see some other weird ones. He’s more of a serious follower of that topic then I am. I’ll answer one or two there that kind of irk me.

Until next time my lovelies!


A Whisper In The Ear

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