Quora Post #1 and Explanation

So Quora, if you’ve never been, is a Q & A type site. I’d say more serious than the Google/Yahoo answers type scenario and has a bunch of people from all branches of life. For some reason it seems to avoid a lot of the trolls that tend to hit the other two locations, maybe because it has a lot more professionals floating around the site.

I’ve seen writers there, politicians, actors, astronauts, mothers, fathers, retirees. Everyone. There are questions for everyone floating around there. I know if I get going I can get lost in the enjoyment of answering questions.

They have a “be polite” policy and policies for avoiding conflict. All-in-all, it is a wonderfully run site. I think one of the fun aspects is that you can Upvote answers that you like, so if you don’t have anything to add to the answers already there, you can give credit to people that you think answered the question well. You can also comment on answers and the question itself, so if you want to start a discussion you can, or if you need information cleared up, you can get that information from the answerer or the question asker.

Another fun thing is that you can be asked to answer questions, so if you get going on answering things and have trouble finding ones to answer, at some point you may be asked to answer a question.

It was brought to my attention through the hubs who had stumbled across a question he thought would be fun if we both answered to see if people would catch on:

Do you have an amazing story of how you met your husband/wife/partner that defies the odds?

Since I don’t think I’ve really told our story here before, here is the story of how we met and my answer to the question:

Getting out of a long relationship, or at least what I considered long at the time – it was only two years, I thought I would casually look for something new but I wasn’t really looking for anything serious.

I had joined OkCupid long before I started looking around because I liked quizzes, and part of their matching used personality quizzes and tests. I thought it was interesting.

I was 19 going on 20 and like I said, didn’t want anything serious because my last serious relationship was hellish and not a happy story. What teenage love is?

I would spend time going between quizzes and looking at profiles, trying to find people to hang out with and get to know. I was never good at making friends with guys, so I thought it would be a great place to start, and maybe something might slowly start from there.

As a girl of any age on dating sites, you learn that 90% of the people that send you a message they are looking for one thing: sex. So, I learned that when you get a message on those sites you need to casually look at the message, they’ll either be obvious in the actual message asking for a hook up or when you get to their profile they’ll be obvious there.

So, I usually didn’t depend on the message I got first from guys, I waited to see if people responded to me. My profile was pretty intense, definitely not short and sweet, but there were tidbits in there that were more personal (I’ve always been an open person).

I came across my now husband’s profile and was taken aback. Not only was this guy gorgeous with the kind of piercing blue eyes that just draw you, he had taken the time to fill out the profile in detail and seemed to have a nonchalant attitude toward the whole dating scene. OkCupid’s profile page had you answer questions, which made things interesting and easier for those that struggled with coming up with something to put.

So I sent him a quick message: “I just wanted to say you have gorgeous eyes and a beautiful smile.”

It was true, but I wasn’t thinking anything would come from it. I was almost 20 and he was 27, plus he lived 400 miles away on the otherside of the state and I had learned that guys tend to shy away from longer distance relationships.

But it wasn’t terribly long before I got a message back saying thanks and we sparked up a conversation.

He was intelligent and funny and we just talked and talked.

I think he was trying to scare me off with the fact that he had kids (I knew this from his profile already – and he did eventually tell me that that was something he was trying to use to test the waters because I was so much younger then him). I wasn’t scared of kids, being in a day and age where high schoolers are having kids (I’m not saying it’s right but it happens) I was used to it. Not to mention, I had baby sat from a young age as well as work in a preschool that was run out of my high school.

I like kids and had always wanted some of my own, so if I started something with someone with kids then I was fine with that if they were.

I asked to see pictures of his kids and they were absolutely adorable.

To say we talked for hours is putting it lightly. The sun was rising by the time we both realized how long we’d been talking and how easily the conversation flowed.

We decided we’d talk again.

I went to bed that night thinking I had made an amazing new friend. Both of us had said we’d both gotten out of long relationships and weren’t looking for anything serious.

We continued to have long and intense conversations and I felt that gentle heart-tug that let me know I was starting to feel something more then friendship, but I kept it to myself because I didn’t want to taint the good thing I had going.

Then he asked to meet me.

I’ll be honest. I was scared. I’d never actually met anyone online before, and it was in that time when there were all these stories about people getting hurt from meeting people online.

Despite the fear, I said yes. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet this amazing guy.

So he drove the 400 miles and I showed him around my city. Including a park that I have gone to my entire life and meant the world to me. I still love that park now.

We talked as easily and casually as we had online, no hesitation at all. Time passed quickly and we decided to sit on one of the hills in the park where we were to talk.

He put his arm around me when I told him I was cold.

That “I like you feeling” had still been growing through out the day, and despite not wanting to taint a great friendship, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from asking him to kiss me.

He wasn’t thrown off and that kiss lasted forever.

It was really late and I felt bad that he’d be spending hours on the road to get home, so I invited him home.

We fell asleep together on the couch watching movies and talking, stealing kisses here and there.

I can honestly say that day is one of the best days of my life.

We continued the long distance thing for about a year and a half before he moved to Denver to be closer to his family.

He asked me to move there with him.

I said yes.

Four years after that amazing day in the park, I had another amazing day to add to my list: our wedding day.

Now it’s been over seven years and we’re still going strong.

Neither of us had been looking for anything serious, but we both found something amazing.

***Edit 1/3/2015 ***

Just because I can and because people enjoyed our story I wanted to update things.

Todd Allen and I have been married for a bit over four years now. His three daughters live with us full time in Denver.

Life has been full of surprises, ups and downs, but our little family is going strong. And actually just became a little bigger in October when we welcomed a 4th daughter to the mix. 🙂

If you go through the answers you can find Todd’s answer as well.

Like I said, I’ll try to post these on Mondays for questions/answers that I enjoyed. I’ll stick to my own answers and try to focus on the writing ones, but there are so many interesting ones out there.

If you decide to join up, follow me there – it has its own social media aspect as well!

A Whisper In The Ear

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