My depressing teenage poetry part 1

Okay I was going through some boxes in my closet the other day and I found a composition notebook that has my poetry from when I was a teenager. And oh my god is it depressing. So I am going to go through and post poetry from that every day until all the lovely pieces are put into this lovely blog here. I will not do any editing, so you are getting the fullness of my teenage angst and editing skills.

Falling Again
Written on: February 5, 2003

As Valentine’s Day rolls closer
I remember people from my past
Ones who stayed
And ones that were driven away
A picture of you popped in my head
And with it, I was flooded with memories
Ones of laughter and fulfilment
Also ones of tears and hurt
The moments of true bliss
True love and trust
And your gentle but strong ways
My heart has always wondered
If one day we’ll be together again
If one day you could love me
As much as I love you.
I figured out how deep these feelings were
When you said hello after so much silence
It brightened up my life
And I remembered everything I hid away
The passion I held in check
And it hit me fully
I was falling for you again
Little things pointing it out
Popping candy hearts in my mouth
With the words ‘tres’ and ‘miss you’
Am I setting myself up
For another heart break
Do you think you could learn to love me again
I never wanted to lose you
But I got over it
Until I figured out
I was falling again
Can you tell how much I need you
Can you tell how much I wish we could go back
Memories hit me full force
Bringing back the past
I cried when I saw how much I missed it
How much stupid crap I’ve done
Other boys come and go
But you’ve stayed with me
Through all of it
And I ask myself what I could have done
To make it different
To dry those tears
To make everything better
I’ve noticed how I’m falling again
Memories of lying in your arms
Memories of talking for hours
I can’t believe I’m falling again.

Okay by the date, I think it was about four or five months after I had broken up with first-ish boyfriend Tres. I would have probably been about sixteen-ish or so.

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